Welcome Back

So, it seems the old adage is true after all. You can't create and feel like you're creating something of worth unless you're at low points. I often wonder if perhaps depression is the path you should let yourself sink deep and long, submerged until so you're so blithering and miserable you can sustain yourself off of the art you create, to perpetuate your pain so others can look at the things you craft in your hollow misery. Its ironic though, isn't it, that no matter how badly you wish you could craft from a place of peace and happiness you cannot. You must fall into your loathing, your low and deep moods, all in order to craft something and not have it feel forced.

A pity, really.

Still though, you created something, and for what its worth it does feel good to make something like this again. Congratulations. Too bad its a fleeting thing though, since sorrow and pain is something you actively try to avoid with your depression pills and returning to slumber well after you've woken up for five more hours. Even your words become more eloquent when you're in this sorry state, creativity finally returning and opening its valves once more. You never could control it, but pain and misery always seemed to bring it back. It's so, so unhealthy for you yet art is the only thing you really like, aside from video games I suppose. Art gave you purpose and motivation, but you cannot have your art without the pain. Quite the toxic relationship, and predicament, isn't it?

Art is pain.

For you at least.

You have your truth before you. You can either continue to cower like a dog on the floor, or you can pick yourself up and prepare to endure wave after wave of pain, for only the finest things can bloom and blossom from the towering depths of hardship placed upon it. You return here because you feel so god-awful with all that emptiness within you to the point of recognizing that you need that pain, no matter how much you want to avoid it. The choice is yours. Will you truly embrace it, all that deep and fathomless pain to craft that which brings you joy, or will you leave yourself in necrosis and rot? The choice is yours.